Keeping our own Counsel

There is a marked difference between: ~

Listening to someone . . . listening for someone  . . . and . . . Listening with someone.

Keeping our own counsel does not mean we never need to ask for help again or believe that we do not

need anyone to keep us company. Human beings definately thrive when we share our attention equally. 

In fact ~ it is well known now that it is normally easier for us to sense more deeply into our selves when

we receive attention from another person ~ if  . . . the attention we receive has a few specific qualities. 


It helps us to be more independant and at the same time ~  still appreciative of our interactive nature 

as human beings ~ if we are offered attention without comment, criticism, advice, analysis, guidance or

even helpful ideas. If the person who is Listening with us, knows to wait and ask us whether we want to

hear any of that stuff before they share it with us ~ then something helpful can happen. We can become

more self-reliant, less dependant on others and more ' internal trust ' can begin to grow inside our selves.


If two people share time and attention equally in this way ~ then it can look quite similar to ' counselling ' 

from the outside. From the inside, however, it feels very different. There is NO AUTHORITY in the room.

You can read more about this here ~ on the page about making a supportive partnership with someone.


It also helps to understand how finding the right working distance from whatever we bring our attention to

can keep us close to our ' presence of mind ' and our ability to make decisions and keep our own counsel. 


Being more aware of the sensory information available inside us is central element to this way of Listening,

It always helps to remember that anything can distract us from our best intentions to carry certain attitudes

or behave in particular ways and easily get in the way of our ability to enjoy our life and from just being . . .

We can all easily be overwhelmed by vivid memories, strong emotion or difficult thoughts and feelings and

the trick ( if there is one ) is to return to a state of mind that has neutrality and curiosity embedded within it.

Our sensations can be red herrings too ~ just like anything else.