Attitudes, Boundaries and Costs  

the ABC's of making a partnership.


Respect: for boundaries of confidentiality, privacy and time keeping is fundamental. Nothing good will happen for anyone at all if these are not clear. So testing this water is very much part of the process.


Silence: can take a little getting used to, but brings a lot. When the other person is quiet, it means keeping our own attention alive while maybe hearing nothing at all ~ or certainly nothing we would judge to be interesting.


Responsibility for ourselves ~ at all times.

It is always our job to know when something does not feel right and a shared responsibility to notice when something is not working well in the partnership. We need to know we can take time-out as we need to, and keep private, any or all personal history that is just for us.


Quality of attention: centred in our physical body with an expanded awareness and an attitude of friendly neutral curiosity towards whatever we come across in ourselves or others. Ideally we listen with our whole body and not just our eyes and ears.


Being able to shut-up and just LISTEN.

That means letting go of our many excellent ideas, suggestions or desire to give friendly reassurances.


Providing the company of a human being.

' You cannot fail to have this capacity. It does not require a good person, a wise one, or some special quality or way of being. Just you….. there. '  E.Gendlin: Focusing


So.......What will it cost you?


Well, no money changes hands ~ so it will be light on your wallet, but you will need to spend some time getting the hang of it and that will definately take some effort and commitment which, I hope you agree, will prove itself to be well worth it.


In this partnership. . . . .


 It is a privilege, just to witness

the unfolding living process of each others lives.