a  few

words . . .

Someone recently asked me

' Why are you doing this ? What's your motivation ? '

Well ~ I answered

' I wanted to do something with my life  ~  

          that was much closer to the heart of my nature as a human being '

 

I have heard it said: we teach best whatever we want to learn.

I am not a teacher, though . . .

                          there are some things I want to share . . . . which are ?

Strong convictions that; someTime-out from a busy life is worthwhile, good Quality Attention is a basic Human Need ~ which is all too rare, simply Listening inside ourselves is a Creative Skill in its own right and something we can practice if we want to . . . . . and importantly . . . . none of these things needs to cost the earth.  Which leads me to ~   

                                                                                                        FOCUSING

There is a fair bit of information in the pages of this site about this thing ~ Focusing ~ however much I want to write about it simply, it may well be clear as mud.  BUT !

People have been doing this, in their own way,

                      . . . . for as long as there have been people.

 

Though it took someone called Eugene Gendlin to ask a good question over 40 yrs ago, during research at the University of Chicago, to unearth this little gem of a skill.

Gendlin asked 'why do some people get better in therapy and some don't?  '

There is more information about the background of Focusing on this website, on the homepage and online library of The Focusing Institute  at  www.focusing.org  and out there on the web, so I won't go on about it any more here. It works for me.

I was introduced to this about 12 years ago and have not looked back. When a good friend first suggested I might get something helpful from this, it did not take me long to know they were right ~ and It has proved its worth for me, to this day.

This was not someones Invention. It was a Discovery, and for me it was a discovery about the nature and process of Discovery itself  ~ and ultimately of Change.

This little skill ~ a collection of friendly attitudes towards myself ~ my whole self  ~ this new respect for my physical body, this concentration of curiousity, this flow of atttention and expansion of awareness, this kindness, was definately news to me.

I was creative, but had not learnt to turn this creativity inwards to notice or nurture ~

            HOW I made Relationships with myself and others.

I was in my early 20's and had spent little time noticing HOW my thoughts, feelings and emotions, pretty much ran the show. I really had no clue . . . . . . HOW to live with much depth of care, beyond this everyday world ~ I thought I knew.

Up to that point, no parent, teacher or adult had ever spoken about HOW to think, or HOW to notice my thoughts, feelings and strong emotions without being sucked in by them, overwhelmed by them or in denial of them ~ and not HOW to see beyond them or underneath them all, with softer eyes ~ holding less judgement, less criticism or analysis ~ or even very subtle, quiet belief: how to sense beneath everything.

This is not unusual, I reckon we are all in the same boat here pretty much. Most of us shared this experience, growing up in our western culture, though it is not like this everywhere in the world ~ there are tribal cultures that still nurture this instinct.

  The point is  ~ this is not necessary. We do not need to live in that ignorance. 

This little skill has helped me tremendously and I want to share it with other people ~ who wish to practrice it too. If it's not your cup of tea ~ then that's ok with me.

I want to be crystal clear about something the start. . . . if I can.

        I don't consider Focusing to have any claim on kindness.

For me . . . . the real beauty of what Gene Gendlin has done, by sharing his work, is to make it explicitly clear and possible for many more people ~ adults and children ~ to have this skill for ourselves . . . . . and for us to know HOW to go about learning it.

Gendlin discovered people Focusing naturally ~ it is important to remember that no-one taught them HOW to do this. It was built in to the way they were being.

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There is a movie called ' the Edge ' with Anthony Hopkins, where he is lost in the forest, being chased by a Grizzly Bear. His companion is losing heart and believes that they will die. Hopkins' character decides the only way to survive is to kill the bear. He passes his determination on to his dis-spirited companion by getting him to shout, out loud, over and over again:

                       " what one man can do, another can do " 

That is pretty much what I feel about Focusing ~ except for this

       Not everyone wants to pay attention inside themselves.

Sometimes I don't either.That has got to be ok. We are all here for different reasons and they all deserve respect. This is one of the things that I love about Focusing  ~ because it respects the instinctive voice of our physical body, if this is not right for us, then nothing will happen and we will NOT be drawn to it.

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There are good people, out there in the world, who have helped me a great deal. They all share some qualities, embodying a respect for themselves and others as living, breathing, human beings and  sharing some common ground as to how they understand what it is to be the soft animals we are and inhabit these bodies we do.

I do not need the world to know about Focusing. We all have our own way, which  we do not need to put a name on, for Listening Inside ourselves  ~  or maybe NOT.

           Maybe we don't Listen inside very much ~ then that is our way.

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